


the end goes by many names

by sailormarsbars



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Heavy Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Non-Explicit Sex, Non-Graphic Violence, Threats of Rape/Non-Con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:47:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28757574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sailormarsbars/pseuds/sailormarsbars
Summary: A series of vignettes following Kevin and Jacob as they survive the apocalypse.
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin
Comments: 13
Kudos: 51





	the end goes by many names

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this while having an ~episode~
> 
> if i need to add more tags pls lmk (politely. if ur rude im gonna come to ur house and piss in your milk)

_D-0_

It’d been a few weeks since his mother had died.

Heart attack according to the hospital. She’d been _alone_ , had died _alone_ in the kitchen. A pot of coffee had just finished brewing. She’d been _alone_ and she had died on the kitchen floor, gasping for air and clawing at her chest until there was blood beneath her fingernails.

Kevin had been in Seattle. The morning his mother had died he’d been getting ready for class, hungover with leftover eyeliner running down his cheeks.

It’d been Friday. Parties at his campus always happened on Thursdays. Everyone went home on the weekends. His roommate had been packing to go see his mother who lived only a two hour drive away. Kevin had not thought of his mother. He’d wiped away the caked eyeliner with a makeup wipe, had popped two pain pills, and he’d gone to class.

It wasn’t until the afternoon that he’d gotten the call. He’d been alone in the dorm, laying on the couch with his laptop on the coffee table as a movie was playing. He’d been half asleep, tempted to not take the call. He took it though, annoyed as he answered.

“Is this Kevin Moon?” The speaker asked, somehow mispronouncing his name. 

“Yep.” Kevin said, reaching over to pause the movie.

The speaker had said a few more things, a few statements that at first meant nothing to Kevin. All that stood out to him was the last sentence. The last thing he heard before he hung up the phone in the sudden panic that’d overtaken him.

“I’m sorry. Your mother has passed away.” The speaker said.

His phone had rung a few more times as he’d left his dorm. He’d ignored it, shoving his things into a bag before running to get to his car. It was a nine-hour drive, but he’d do it. He had to do it. His mother was dead, and she’d died _alone_. There’d been no one there for her. He should’ve been there for her.

He should’ve been there.

* * *

Everything had been left to him. The house, the cars, her money. His father had died a few years ago, quietly in his sleep with his wife next to him, their hands clasped together like they were every night. Kevin’s mother had been alone since then, only having the neighbors and a few friends from church to talk to. Kevin only went back home during the summer, sometimes for the holidays. He hadn’t hated his mother, but the drive was exhausting, more of a chore than a necessity. He knew he was an asshole, but he hadn’t changed, convincing himself that once he graduated he’d go back home.

Now his mother was dead.

The house felt hollow as he’d walked through it, dust gathered on the furniture. Frames of him and his father were numerous, on the walls, coffee tables. It left an ache in his chest he knew would never go away. His mother loved him. Had loved him, deeply and unconditionally and he’d left her alone to rot.

He’d cleaned the dust away. Organized a few messes that’d been left before his mother could clean them. He restocked the fridge and organized the cabinets. He did everything he could to take his mind off the fact that his mother was gone. It worked as much as his brain let it.

His professors were understanding, thankfully. He wouldn’t have to go back to classes for another week or so as he tied up affairs. There wasn’t much left, anyway.

He was alone.

The last living member of his family. Twenty-one and he was the last living Moon. It was a fucking joke.

The third week in his mother’s house, he’d noticed a change. The air felt off. The sky was clouded with grey storm clouds as lightning crackled within the curled masses. Rain pounded against the windows. Thunder rattled the house, the windows and doors shaking.

He’d ignored it, staring blankly at the TV as he tried to focus on what was playing. He was curled up in a blanket his grandmother had knitted him when he’d gone to visit her in Korea while he was in elementary. She’d been left alone too. Had died alone. They’d gone back when he was 15 for her funeral.

He hated it. He hated it with every fiber of his being. He’d wanted so desperately to go to her when they’d been told she was at the hospital. Like she always did when she had to go to the hospital, she’d insisted she was fine. She’d said it was just a short visit, nothing to worry about. So they hadn’t went. They’d stayed in America while she passed away alone in the hospital, only the nurses to comfort her as she went slowly.

Kevin hated himself. It’d always been like this; always him leaving the most important people in his life behind.

His grandmother alone in Korea. His mother alone in his childhood home.

Jacob hundreds of miles away, still working on his grandparent’s farm. He’d be there working until he finally died and passed it onto his children.

Fuck. _Jacob_. It’d been three years since Kevin had seen Jacob. How had it been three years already?

Jacob had been living with his aunt when Kevin had met him. He hadn’t grown up in Kevin’s hometown but he’d been sent there when he’d turned fourteen. Where he’d lived the high schools were poor, rundown, unable to support the students they held. So his grandparents had sent him to live with their only still living daughter.

She was successful with a good bit of money. The most important thing, though, was that she could send Jacob to a good school. One that would prepare him for college so he could be something better than the parents who’d left him behind.

Jacob’s aunt had been friends with Kevin’s mother. They were the only Koreans that lived in the neighborhood and frequently spent their nights together drinking tea and gossiping. When Jacob had been sent to live with his aunt they’d brought him to meet Kevin. They’d be going to the same high school so it’d be good if they were friends, the women had rationed.

It wasn’t like they’d had to force them, anyway. Jacob and Kevin instantly became a pair. Never one without the other. Jacob helped Kevin in his math classes. Kevin helped Jacob in his literature classes. They studied together for tests on the weeknights and went out to the movies or the mall arcade on the weekends. They drank for the first time together after stealing wine from Jacob’s aunt’s wine cellar. They’d bought shitty weed from an upperclassman and smoked for the first time together.

Jacob had kissed him in sophomore year. He’d gotten tired of listening to Kevin complain about the shitty date he’d been on. Junior year they’d lost their virginity together. For four years they never parted, never frayed.

Then they’d graduated.

Jacob had decided he wasn’t going to go to college. No, that’s not what he wanted. He was going to go home, he’d told Kevin, ears folded underneath his crooked graduation cap. He wasn’t going to leave his grandparents alone on that big farm to die alone. He was going home.

Kevin thought he was Jacob’s home. But he’d been wrong. The entire time they’d been together Jacob had looked past him. The entire time Kevin had thought he’d found his soulmate, Jacob had already been making plans to leave him.

What should’ve been a happy occasion had turned cold. Kevin hadn’t bothered to tell Jacob goodbye. The train tickets to Jacob’s hometown had already been bought. What point was there in saying goodbye when Jacob never truly gave him the chance? He’d left Jacob alone in the courtyard of their high school as happy families took photos together. He’d left Jacob alone at the train station, ignoring the pleading texts until he finally gathered enough courage to block Jacob’s number. He left Jacob alone on that big farm and he did not look back.

Kevin had thought to call Jacob after his mother died. She had cared for Jacob like he was a second child. Maybe Jacob would’ve liked to attend the funeral, but Kevin didn’t want to bother. Would Jacob even come? What was the point when Jacob would leave again anyway?

So Kevin was alone. Even at college he’d been alone. He’d had friends, sure. His roommate always invited him to parties or to go out to eat when he’d meet with his friends. The members of the dance club he’d joined texted him like they thought he was worth their time. But they weren’t close, even if they tried to be. For three years Jacob had stayed underneath Kevin’s skin like a parasite, eating away at him till there was nothing left but his exposed, decayed core.

He knew in the end it was him who had left Jacob. Jacob who never asked for anything but understanding. Jacob who loved his family more than anything, who would drop everything in his life just to help them, even if it meant putting his future on hold. All he’d asked for in those pleading texts was for Kevin to give him a little time, to please, please, understand.

But Kevin had blocked him and left him alone on that farm to rot.

Just like he’d left his mother, blood under her fingernails, cold and alone on the kitchen floor.

* * *

_D-41_

The grass of the front yard was overgrown when Kevin pulled into the dirt and gravel driveway. His car was almost out of gas, sputtering and rumbling as he forced it slowly forward. His cracked headlights barely broke the dark, but he didn’t really need them. He knew the way. He’d been here before.

It took a few minutes before he finally got to the house, a three-story white wood behemoth that he’d visited with Jacob over the too short summers. The rose bushes in the front yard were scattered with red blooms. The front door was closed, the window shutters blocking his view to the inside.

Kevin only hoped. That was all he could do anymore. He was tired. So fucking tired. He didn’t know how many days had passed since he’d left the remains of his mother’s house, since he’d left the destroyed confines of the small oceanside town he’d once called home and found the rest of the world just as broken and burning. Maybe months had passed. Maybe years. There was no telling anymore. He’d lost the will to keep track.

The only thing that mattered anymore was Jacob.

Jacob was all he had left, if only he was alive.

His legs went weak as he got to the halfway point from his car and the front door. He could barely drag himself up the creaking steps as exhaustion and adrenaline pumped through him in a nauseating mix. Jacob had to be alive. He had to be. He _had_ to be.

The first knock he rapped against the door was quiet, his hand curled into a loose fist as he brought his knuckles to the carved oak. He couldn’t bring himself to do it any louder, too scared that there won’t be any reply. He felt like a coward, too scared to face the reality he had no one left and he had only himself to blame. He had left his mother; he had left Jacob. And now _he_ was left alone to rot, another abandoned soul on a dying planet.

The second knock he brought to the door was louder, a franticness taking over his body before he could stop it. He quickly lost count as he brought his fists against the oak, his throat going raw as he screamed for Jacob to open the fucking door – just open the fucking door – _please_.

Tears ran hot down his cheeks, their salt against his tongue as he screamed until he could feel bile rise in his throat.

Jacob was all he had. Jacob needed to be alive. Kevin would rather die than be without Jacob another moment. He couldn’t be alone. He couldn’t lose him, not again. Not again.

His palms met cold, wooded floors before he could properly break his fall, the air rushing from his lungs. He looked up with blurred vision, unable to stop the broken sobs that broke from his throat.

“Kev?” Jacob asked, so gentle Kevin thought he might die. He looked so much older, three years enough to change him so completely. Yet he was still the same scared kid Kevin remembered in the lawn of their high school, the same terrified but hopeful expression clear on his face.

He was alive. Despite everything he was alive.

“ _Jake_.” Kevin cried, snot and tears wetting his face. He didn’t care if he looked a mess, if he looked like a rabid animal trying to claw its way inside. “Jake, I’m sorry-”

Jacob fell to his knees in an instant, his arms wrapping tight around Kevin. Kevin could feel the wetness of Jacob’s cheek against his own as he was pulled tighter into the warm embrace. He dug his nails into the bare skin of Jacob’s arms, feeling the flesh give way under his grip. 

“It’s okay, baby.” Jacob whispered, fingers threading into Kevin’s hair. “It’s okay.”

* * *

_D-94. D-97_

The first time people came to the farm, Jacob and Kevin welcomed them with open arms.

A woman and a man. Around the same age as Kevin and Jacob, if not a little older. A couple, apparent from their clasped hands and whispered comforts as they leaned into each other. They looked exhausted, fresh dirt and blood caked on their faces as they huddled by the gate. They didn’t beg to be let in, the woman asking gently if they could stay for just two days, long enough to get their bearings and their wounds to be stitched.

Attacked, she said, after Jacob asked how her husband got such a large gash on his back. A group of men and women armed with rifles and hunting knives had ran their car off the road, opening fire as they pushed themselves from the crushed metal. One of them had managed to grab her husband, taking a blade down his back with the precision of someone who had done it countless times before. He hadn’t killed him, only because the winter coat her husband wore was just enough to stifle the blow. It hadn’t been quite enough to stop the end of the blade from meeting flesh.

Kevin had some practice with sewing and did his best to close the wound, coming to Jacob later in the night with tears in his eyes because he couldn’t do more. Their medical supplies were limited, neither of them ready to leave the confines of the farm to see what the rest of the town looked like to get anything better.

There were enough supplies to keep them going for another month at least. Then…then they’d have to see what was left. What the couple told them made them all the more apprehensive, though. The things Kevin had seen as he’d left their hometown for the farm had already scared him beyond anything Jacob could hope to help. The couple’s plight just made everything worse.

The second and final night had gone well, the husband looking in better shape with his wound finally closed. Despite the raw scratches and still sore scabs, despite the underlying fear that they couldn’t hope the quell – things were _good_. Jacob had packed them some supplies, giving the woman one of the pocketknives his grandfather used to carve wood when he was still alive. It wasn’t much, but he had little to begin with. For them it’d be a start, a chance.

It was only three days later that everything went wrong.

Kevin had gone to feed the chickens, check on the horses like he did every afternoon before dark overtook the farm. It never took him long. He didn’t like staying out in the open fields where the stars shone the brightest. Years ago, when they were still in school, he would’ve given anything to see sights like those every night. Now they reminded him of things he still hadn’t told Jacob about. Jacob didn’t press but he couldn’t help but worry that the things Kevin saw would soon follow him to the farm.

It’d been an hour and Kevin still hadn’t returned. Jacob did nothing but lightly worry, brushing the anxiety aside as quickly as it’d appeared. It wasn’t dark yet. He must’ve gotten distracted with the horses. He did that sometimes, getting lost in brushing their coats to perfection.

Two hours passed. The worrying itch turned to panic when Jacob looked at the clock, when he looked out the window to the night sky alive with stars.

Instinct took over before Jacob could force himself to be rational. He grabbed the always loaded shotgun from his grandfather’s old carved case and ran.

The barn wasn’t far, yet every step he took felt like an eternity. Damp dirt pressed soft underneath his boots, still wet from the snow that’d melted a few days past. It only made running harder, his balance slipping as his boots were again and again caught in the sludge.

The doors to the barn were closed when Jacob finally got there. Kevin always left one open even if only a crack in case Jacob ever joined him. Yet the doors were shut tight.

Even in his panicked state, Jacob knew he couldn’t be stupid. He had to be careful even if every second made the dread pooling in his gut sink him further down.

He kept to the wall of the barn, gently placing his head against it. The wood was old, worn down by years of snow and sun. It was easy to hear inside, even if it was muffled.

The men inside hadn’t bothered being quiet either way.

“Three fucking days ago?” One said, the anger in his voice ringing clear. “How did we get three days behind them?”

“His fault.” A second one said, calmer. Still annoyed. “Yours too. You let him hit every fucking liquor store in the last town.”

“God, does it even _matter_?” A third shouted. Older than the other two, rough at the edges. “A bitch is a bitch either way. He ain’t bad looking. Fuck him then leave. That’s all we gotta do.”

“Fuck, I guess you’re right. Tighter the better, anyway.”

A pause. A thud, bone against metal.

Kevin crying out in pain, frenzied apologies spilling in between incoherent sobs.

“Stop fucking crying!” The third shouted. “I tell you again and I’m putting a bullet in your skull.”

“Nah, not his. How about pretty boy back at the house, huh? He like getting fucked too?”

“Please don’t – please - I’m sorry-” Another thud, louder this time.

Jacob didn’t wait, not another second. He banged a fist against the barn wall, hard enough he felt the wood rattle under his skin. It must’ve been even louder inside the barn, a series of thuds and curses erupting from within.

“Fuck, what was that?”

“One of those horses, probably.”

“They didn’t even move. Fucking idiots. I’ll go check it.”

“Take the gun. Just in case.”

One of the barn doors creaked open, achingly slow and careful. An older man stepped out, dirty grey hair falling into his eyes. He held a rifle in his arms, a practiced pose that he did with ease. He was in his element, just another night of inflicting pain and fear into the already vulnerable.

“I know you’re out here.” He said, spitting at the ground in front of him. “Might as well come out now before I kill your little bitch.”

If only he hadn’t been so cocky, he would’ve known to look behind him to the other side of the barn.

The blood that splattered against Jacob’s face was hot, the sting of it against his skin almost enough to distract him from the ringing in his ears. His knees threatened to give out, a violent sickness pooling in his stomach. Vomit threatened to spill from between his trembling lips.

Then he saw the other two men burst from the barn doors, hands carrying nothing but pathetic hunting knives.

It only took one more shot, then a wrestled knife to the throat. By the third kill the blood no longer phased Jacob, just another necessity to getting Kevin back home safe. The ringing in his ears was louder now, though, so loud he could barely hear as Kevin called out for him. He could barely see Kevin’s face through the tears.

“Jake?” Kevin called weakly, blood running down his temple. His bottom lip was busted.

Jacob couldn’t speak. Every time he tried the words would catch in his throat, engulfed by the vomit he kept trying to swallow down. Kevin didn’t need to see him like that, not now. Not ever.

“Give me the gun, Jake.” Kevin said, far too gentle for how scared he looked. “Please?”

Jacob nodded, his hands trembling as he passed the rifle into Kevin’s hands. He was shaking just as bad but he kept his composure, moving the gun under his arm as he helped Jacob to his feet. When had he fallen? How had he not noticed the wet dirt seeping into his skin?

“Kev.” Jacob whispered, feeling slivers of reality begin to rush back to him. He was scared, so fucking scared. _What had he done?_

“Come on.” Kevin said, his hand soft and warm against the cold, calloused skin of Jacob’s palm. “Let’s go home.”

The bodies were buried in the depths of the woods, left to the animals and elements in shallow, crudely dug graves.

In the forest they’d rot, and in Hell they’d burn.

* * *

_D-148_

Jacob watched as Kevin jumped around the cracks in the sidewalk, treating it like hopscotch on black pavement. It reminded him of summers on the local basketball court, throwing hoops while Kevin took to drawing with borrowed chalk as neighborhood kids circled around him to watch.

“Don’t get too crazy.” Jacob said, an arm around Kevin’s waist before he could trip and fall over one of the larger cracks he’d almost caught his foot in.

Kevin scoffed but relented, leaning into Jacob’s side as he said, “Don’t you know the ancient proverb ‘step on a crack and you’ll break your mothers back’?”

It was their fifth time of venturing out into the town on supply runs. There weren’t many stores, mostly mom and pop shops. They hit restaurants as well, whatever they thought would have any food. Food was always their biggest priority. The garden was large but they couldn’t wait for the crops to finish growing. By that time they’d have run out of things to eat.

So far they’d had enough luck, but only because most of the town had been elderly farmers like his grandparents. They’d all most likely died before they’d been able to get to the town to scavenge. Jacob tried not to think about it.

He followed Kevin into a small antique store with shattered windows. The past few times Kevin had started towards it, Jacob had protested, not wanting to waste time in case anything or anyone interrupted them. Now he let Kevin go, far too endeared by the toothy grin he got in return before Kevin dashed inside.

“Think they have a Bowie vinyl?” Kevin excitedly asked, setting his bag down by the front counter.

He didn’t comment on the items scattered and broken on the floor, or the destroyed register with coins and cash littered around it. They’d seen enough destruction by then to leave it be. No use in speculating or worrying when it didn’t keep them fed or alive.

“Here?” Jacob asked, laughing. “Doubt it.”

Most of the items in the store consisted of old tea sets, vintage toys, and musty books. There were a few other items, fishing rods that were rendered useless from age. Deer heads mounted crooked on the walls. Kevin spent time to run his fingers over the dust of items that caught his eye before holding it up to get a closer look. Nothing was worth taking home, though. The disappointment was clear on his face, his eyebrows furrowing the deeper into the store they ventured.

Then Kevin paused, his whole body going stiff.

“Oh.” He whispered, his voice taking on a tone Jacob hadn’t heard since he’d found Kevin crying and screaming on his front porch, begging for him to open the door.

“What is it, baby?” Jacob asked, reaching to grip Kevin’s exposed arms in a loose hold, rubbing his thumbs along the warm skin.

“Just…” Kevin started, taking in a shuddery breath. “These.”

His hands shook as he lifted a tiny pair of old baby shoes, the white and red leather browned and dirtied with age. The stained laces were tied in neat little bows.

“I just...” Kevin’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. He looked close to tears as he ran his fingers over the old leather. “I wish we could…you know…”

Jacob’s chest tightened so fast he could feel the air rush from his lungs. He hadn’t said a word to Kevin about it but he knew. He knew far too well.

He’d imagined a life with Kevin since the day they’d met. On graduation day he’d hoped Kevin would understand why he chose to go back to his grandparents, that he’d be willing to wait until he could come home and maybe…maybe they could start something. A life. A family. It never felt like a pipe dream with Kevin to settle down on the farm, in the city, wherever Kevin wanted. And two kids to raise as their own. As parents. Fathers. Partners. Husbands.

Then Kevin had pushed him to the sidewalk and left him with bleeding palms and a shattered heart, surrounded by the happy and smiling families of their peers. The dream had been crushed to finality when Kevin never answered his calls as he waited at the train station, only his aunt to hug him goodbye.

Still a part of him had dared to hope they’d be able to have something again. They could do it. He’d be willing to, only if Kevin were. Maybe Kevin had waited. Maybe he’d changed his mind. Maybe they could be a family again.

That too had been crushed the second the world had begun to burn and crumble.

There was no way for them to have children now. No way for them to marry. No possibility of the white picket fence life Jacob had so desperately wanted them to have.

Now, knowing Kevin had wanted it all too – the pain comes back tenfold, an avalanche against his already weak heart.

“Yeah.” Jacob murmured, his lips to Kevin’s tear-stained cheek. “I know.”

* * *

_D-160_

“The grass is so itchy.” Kevin complained, an arm slung over his eyes. He was atop a thick blanket, his face covered in shadows from the overhanging canopy. Sweat beaded on his skin, sticky in the already humid summer heat.

“You’re not even on the grass.” Jacob laughed, nuzzling into Kevin’s thigh. “Don’t be such a baby.”

All Jacob got in response was an indignant hum. That earned Kevin teeth digging into the soft inside of his thigh, hard enough it’d certainly bruise.

Kevin let out a sharp yell, his legs kicking out on instinct, narrowly missing Jacob’s head. He leaned up on his elbows, eyes narrowed as he met Jacob’s smug gaze. “Watch the bunny teeth.” He said with a indignant huff, pouting just a bit.

“Did it hurt?” Jacob asked, his voice dripping with faux concern. He pressed his lips just above where his teeth had left red and sore indents. “Poor thing. Should I kiss it better?”

“You can kiss something alright.” Kevin muttered, falling back against the blanket with a light thud. His long hair fanned out around his head, the soft strands begging to be brushed. It’d been a while since he’d let Jacob cut it.

Jacob pressed a gentle kiss to the bite, feeling Kevin tremble underneath him. He trailed his lips upward until he reached the point where Kevin’s thigh met his hip. He nipped his teeth into the trail of delicately inked bees that dotted his hipbone.

“I love these on you.” Jacob murmured, moving his lips to Kevin’s stomach.

“Could still give you a stick and poke you know.” Kevin said, reaching down to tangle his fingers into Jacob’s hair. “You’d be sexy with a tattoo.”

“Yeah?” Jacob said, wrapping a hand around the base of Kevin’s cock. “What should I get?”

Kevin hummed, urging Jacob to take him into his mouth by pushing at his head. His back arched when Jacob finally swallowed him down, a soft moan pushing from his lips. “Maybe – _fuck_ , maybe a rabbit on your arm.”

Jacob pulled off of Kevin slow, his lips shiny with spit. “Cause of the bunny teeth?”

Kevin grinned, reaching down to trace his fingers over Jacob’s lips and tongue. “Hm…maybe. It’d be cute.”

“I’ll think about it.” Jacob said, moving his hands to the undersides of Kevin’s thighs. He let Kevin hook his knees over his shoulders, heels digging against his back. “No promises.”

“ _Fine._ ” Kevin huffed, landing a soft kick on Jacob’s back. “Get your mouth back on me, bunny boy.”

* * *

_D-172_

“My mom wanted you to have this.”

Kevin handed him a small box wrapped delicately in red paper. Some of it had torn and bits were stained with dirt. Still, the careful dedication of folding the paper was kept. His mother had always done everything with a steady and delicate hand. This was no exception.

“What is it?” Jacob asked. The box was light. He had no idea what it could possibly be.

“No idea.” Kevin said, voice soft and shaking. “She…in her will. She wanted you to have this. And not tell me what it was when you opened it. She said it’s a surprise or something…” He sucked in a breath, trying his hardest to keep his composure. “I don’t know. I just found it in my car. I thought I’d lost it back when I left her place.”

“Do you want to see what it is?” Jacob asked. He knew how much guilt Kevin carried, how much it tore him apart inside at almost every waking moment. Kevin had made mistakes, but he was not a bad person. Just a stupid teenager, just like Jacob had been. He didn’t deserve to be punished for it anymore.

“No.” Kevin said, swallowing. He kept his voice firm even as his eyes misted over. “I wanna respect her wishes. You can tell me later. Just – not now.”

“Sure, baby. Whatever you want.” Jacob said, placing the box aside. He could open it another time. 

Jacob waited until Kevin was asleep to open the box.

He unwrapped the paper delicately, trying to be just as careful as Kevin’s mother must’ve been when she wrapped it. The paper was a bit on the older side, apparent from the slight withering wrinkles that had taken over. It was still beautiful. Jacob knew it needed to be cherished.

Once the paper was finally removed all that was left was a small wooden box with a golden latch rusted with age. He pressed it open, jumping a bit as the latch snapped upwards.

It took a moment before he could bring himself to open the box completely, terrified at the prospect of what was inside. He’d been close to Kevin’s mother, spending more time at her house than he did at his aunt’s. She’d always joked about him being a second son and he’d taken the title with pride.

She was a good woman. Caring, nurturing. Always working so hard to give Kevin the future she knew he deserved. A part of him wanted to hate Kevin for what he’d done but he knew better. She had died young just like her husband, only she had been healthy. Kevin couldn’t have known what would become of her.

Whatever was in the box – he knew it was important. Maybe more important than he deserved.

Still, he had to open it. It was a gift, and he couldn’t refuse.

With a grip as gentle as he could manage with shaking hands, he opened the box.

A folded piece of paper sat at the bottom, weighed down by a ring. A wedding ring. _Her_ wedding ring.

Jacob took the paper knowing the words would blur together as tears welled in his eyes. He had to read it, even if he knew what was inside would ruin him.

 _Keep him safe._ It read, inked in her beautiful handwriting. _And make him happy._

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/sailormarsbars)
> 
> if you wanna yell at me, here's my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/sailormarsbars)


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